Thoughts on thoughts3

Finally feeling mostly better, and got around to making this blog look slightly less hideous. Must remind self to learn how to make it nicer, though. Can't be bothered right now.

Thought focus for the remainder of this entry will be deterioration of symbolism and superstition in current phase.

I've been noticing that things that used to have a great deal of symbolic importance to me don't anymore. The sun shines on the flowers, I look out the window, think, "that's pretty," and go back to whatever I'm doing. Halloween was just fun and getting candy and being out with friends while it was dark, no sense of All Hallows' at all. Friday the 13th was much the same as any other Friday, albeit a very pleasant one.

Last year, there were times when seeing the sun shine on the flowers was enough to pull me out of really dark depressions. Halloween felt sickly and dangerous the whole time, and Friday 13 August 2004 and Friday 13 May, 2005 will forever be embedded in my mind.

So obviously, something has changed. My old symbolisms are no longer relevant, except for the ones that have always been relevant (and a little voice in my mind says "We have always been at war with Eurasia"). That was really confusing punctuation. I think I got it wrong. Moving on.

I guess I'm just developing new symbolisms and they're less superstition-based than the old ones. Not at all a bad thing, though the sun shining on the flowers was a really cool symbolism to have. Paper cranes are a pretty awesome replacement, so I guess I don't mind too much.

I should get some lunch. Eating regular meals is goood.