An indicator, in the language of specialized connotations I use when I want to think in words, is basically a sign of the state of my mind. The logical question to follow that would be why I would need a sign to tell what's going on in my own mind. Sometimes, I get preoccupied with what's going on in the outside world, though, and can't tell until I notice the indicator. Things that seem like accidents or coincidences are indicators, and also things that seem like choices but lack normal logic. If I find myself doing something that fits a pattern and don't know why, I'll figure out what it's indicating.
A basic example is weeks when I find myself dressing or talking in a particular mode, when I don't think I feel like that mode. When that happens, I figure I actually am in the mode, and just haven't noticed, or been paying enough attention. That particular sign is a general indicator that I should spend more time alone or thinking about myself.
The reason I tell all this is that last night I had an existential crisis for no apparent reason. I should be enjoying life and so on, but I just couldn't figure out why I was alive. I got rid of the existentialism without analyzing it much, so it only just occured to me what that was indicating. That was a message to spend more time doing simple things that bring me great joy, instead of complicated things that bring me some happiness. I need to be writing and creating more. And it's wonderful to know that, but I find myself wondering where the message is coming from.
I generally figure it's my subconscious, which is more self-aware than my conscious mind, but it's not like I can tell. It could be God for all I know, and that's an interesting thought. I'm sure many people out there would say with certainty that it's God, and many more would say it isn't. It doesn't matter too much, who-or-whatever it is certainly is a reliable and accurate source.
In other news, I've been playing with the idea that God is the space where things are neither one thing nor the other, and also both.
About Me
- Riva
- I'm Riva. I'm a person who used a blog to develop my concept of myself, once. It was useful at the time, but there's only so much thinking you can do before it's time to go out and live based on what you've learned. I write journal entries and fiction (and a small amount of poetry) on livejournal. Chances are good that I love you.
2 comments:
The quantum physicist Niels Bohr frequently remarked that there are great truths and trivial truths, and that the opposite of a trivial truth is a falsehood, but the opposite of a great truth is another great truth.
I'm now being bombarded with convergences, and once again doubting the existence of any such thing as coincidence.
Post a Comment