I'm not good with bodies. I don't read faces well, according to a reliable internet test. I don't know how girls walk, as compared to how boys walk. I don't even notice breast size accurately except when it's on either extreme of the spectrum. I have a slightly better idea of height. I know, fairly accurately, how I compare to most people I know. If I'm away from people for at least a month, I forget how tall they are, though, and what their faces look like, even the basic details like the shape of their heads. I remember a handful of features, seemingly at random. The curve of her nose, her shoulders, spine, and breasts, and a bit of her hair (but I have a particular reason to remember details about that one). I remember hands, hair color, and basic body type the most clearly, with a couple of exceptions. The girl whose nose I've memorized, I never remember her waist even roughly the right size.
And yet, I can recognize most people I know at a distance of 100 feet, from the back, in poor lighting. No idea whatsoever how that works. I've been losing that trick from stress lately. I understand why that happens. As I become more stressed, I feel more isolated, and crave the sight of someone I recognize more. This being the case, I construe familiar features onto unfamiliar people. But I'm not certain they're the people I imagine them to be, so I distrust my ability to recognize people overall.
But the main reason I'm writing all this down isn't to look at unchangable ways my mind works, or to lament the effects of stress on my mind of late. I'm curious how others remember people, how they see me.
I've spent a long time trying to learn what beauty is, what physical features link the people I'm attracted to. I still have no idea. Mostly, I'm attracted to minds.
So, tell me how you see me (physically), please? Tell me how you remember people, what features stick the most in your memory. Tell me about reading body language, 'cause I certainly have never noticed myself doing that with anything approaching accuracy, and other people tend to misread mine. Tell me what it means to you that someone is beautiful. If you like, you can comment anonymously. It makes no difference to me.
About Me
- Riva
- I'm Riva. I'm a person who used a blog to develop my concept of myself, once. It was useful at the time, but there's only so much thinking you can do before it's time to go out and live based on what you've learned. I write journal entries and fiction (and a small amount of poetry) on livejournal. Chances are good that I love you.
4 comments:
I'm pretty good at remembering people, names to faces wise, but i cant really describe physical features unless they're extreme. Picking out people from far away is not so hard for me. When I broke my glasses last month, I couldn't tell features from a distance, but i could identify people because of their posture and walk. (again, I can't tell you how certain people walk.) I think all of that is pretty common.
I'm not really sure what beauty is to me. Every so often, when I'm bored in class or something, I try to identify who's pretty. My picks do not follow the golden ratio ideal, and I sometimes find people appealing for superficial characteristics, such as clothing. I do, however, realize that the people that stand out to me are genereally not the same as what media publicizes. Minds, definitely. What does it mean to be beautiful? Im not sure. I dont use that adjective very often. I prefer other ways to describe people positively.
Body language- I definitely use it, though I dont pay attention to it consciously very often. I'm sure you do to some extent, because it's pretty obvious when someone doesnt have the ability to read body language, and you dont especially stick out.
I'm not quite sure how I see you. I'll pay attention in the future, and maybe I can get a better description. Talking to you, sometimes we're exactly on the same page, and sometimes I have no idea how we wound up in different books. I notice the responsible, caring for others thing, but also the definite self.
I remember general shapes of people, and if I concentrate, I can sometimes remember what their faces look like. More often, I remember who they look like. In your case, I remembered how you looked by accidentally drawing a pretty close likeness.
Beauty isn't something I really think about much, because it's easy to find both beauty and ugliness in almost any feature. I don't really have a system; some people just strike me as good-looking.
I don't think body language is something you read conciously. I think it's more of a response to a mood, and it picked up on a deeper level. That said, I'm no good reading body language either...
And for reasons unknown to me, I remember you taller than I am. Maybe it's just out of habit.
Hmm. very interesting post. i love posts that make me ponder.
yeah, whenever i take a new class where i meet new people, i always search the room and notice. i love to people watch, they are all so intricate. i think what i find most astounding about certain people is their air. some people have a way about them, movements, words they choose, the way they carry themselves (a lot of it has to do with body language), the way the room feels when they walk into it, how they perceive themselves, how they laugh, how their personality shows through what the world sees, the extent of their genuine, whether they are grounded or dreamy... many different things. their looks might have nothing to do with their "way." they might be plain or extravagant, but i might not see them that way depending on how they project themselves. when i find someone alluring (romantically or not), first it's because of the way they have about them. but then there are the looks too. where my eyes go when i look at them, is curious. with you, my eyes go to the angle of your hair by your cheek. with Lilith my eyes go to her mouth. with Juju my eyes go to her nose i think, like her profile. with my friend Andrew, my eyes go to his mouth (his lips twitch) with this random guy sitting in front of me (I'm in photo), my eyes go to his chin. with Gaby my eyes go her brows and eyes. with my boyfriend, i look at his eyes (very expressive) i love looks that stand out, actually. aspects that i don't see every day, but that fit them somehow. like with my boyfriend, i just adore his widow's peak. also the way i view looks change. sometimes i notice the way someone looks a lot, then sometimes i just don't anymore. i think it has to do with the way they come across, if it's interesting, i am curious to watch them. if it's like meh, or if they just don't click with me, then i focus on other stuff. this is with people i don't know. if they are friends of mine, however, i talk to them i get to know them and they click with me...i am always curious, always watching expectantly.
Short people are short, tall people are tall.
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